Hoping that her future will be brighter than her past, Claudine Kuradusenge, a formal Utah Valley University student originally from Rwanda, is trying to connect her cultural background to her lonely life. Being a survivor of genocide, she had to live a daily nightmare and is not sure that she is awake. “The most awful thing is not to live a day-to-day life, it is to know that there is nothing we can change,” said Kuradusenge. She accepted the opportunity to discuss it and educate people on her campus about what is like to be from a bloody country.
Complaining about her situation is a waste of time she said; Kuradusenge is grateful for being alive but sometimes she wished that that was not the case. She lost so many things and people, but the worst is that she lost the chance to have a normal childhood. Sitting in her classroom, sometimes she dreams about how life is so easy for certain people and not for others.
“Sometimes I could hear her crying in the middle of the night and I wished I could do anything to help her, but I knew that she was the only one who could fight her demons,” said Nina, a long time friend of hers. By giving several speeches about her experience, she is hoping that she will be able to forget and forgive herself for things people did to her. She knows that she is not responsible for acts committed by others, but she can’t help it. Kuradusenge is looking for a freedom of mind, and knows that it is somewhere near but she cannot catch it yet. “I hope that someday I will wake up without having my pillows wet with tears.”
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